Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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