i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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