You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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