Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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