I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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