Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?

(954): View more from Florida

Why wouldn't there be.

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(641): View more from Iowa

and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"

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(309): View more from Illinois

I'd suck anything for a pizza right now

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already

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(216): View more from Ohio

I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers

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