Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
operation have a gay friend backfired
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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