$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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