Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
