Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
