writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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