we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
