The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh god it's open bar.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
