I CAN MOONWALK!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
