But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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