my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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