I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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