I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
