When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
