kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize