She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
