I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
