they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
