dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
