As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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