hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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