physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
