i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
