It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
