So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
