There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
