i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
