If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my being single is dangerous.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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