office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
