i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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