she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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