There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
two words...techno handjob
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
