Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize