My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
