I CAN MOONWALK!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
