he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
