you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
