cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
