I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
