her vagine was all disorganized.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
