and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
