is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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