I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
