is your mom at the bar?
I think my fart just growled at me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This is classic penis vs brain.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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