Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
