Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
