Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
