i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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