remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
