It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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