He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
