Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
