You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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